Fighting Elder Abuse: Hilda Penner

The Human Face of a Tragedy

The Life of Hilda Penner

Hilda Penner was born on May 11, 1927 in Hochstadt Manitoba to John P. and Maria (Loewen) Friesen. She was the third of nine children. They lived in Manitoba, and Alberta before moving to the Fraser Valley, B.C. in 1941.

The Friesen’s only had one son (Hilda’s younger brother Alfred) and Hilda always joked that she was the second one. She would be the one that helped her father with the outdoor work to be done. She helped in the fields planting crops and vegetables and with the milking of the cows. Hilda also loved riding her horse “Lady” and together with her brother, “Freddy”, had many adventures giving way for great stories to tell in later years. Her love of horses continued throughout her life, as did Freddy's (below)

Hilda was an avid reader winning a story book in grade two for the best reader even though English was her second language. (She was also an ace speller) She would pass this love of reading on to her two daughters by reading to them constantly from an early age... whether it be Bible stories, nursery rhymes or poetry, no matter how busy her life was at the time, there was always time set aside for a read together. And she carried this on with her grandchildren.

Hilda’s love for music was apparent from a very early age and it grew into a life long passion. She sang in school, and church and just about anywhere she had an audience. In grade three she competed against another student (Jake Schellenberg) who always got to sing the solos, and she won. She sang the song “I never had a Dolly”. Later , when she was fifteen and working in Harrison Hot Springs she saved enough money (most had to be given home) to buy her first guitar.

While working in the hop yards in Greendale, Chilliwack area, Hilda met and fell in love with William Penner, the son of pastor John Penner of Mission. War broke out and “Bill” joined the US Marines to fight in the South Pacific Theatre. They kept in touch with letters and when he returned several years later they were married.

Bill and Hilda took up residence in Mission where Hilda met singer, songwriter, Freda Alstad. Together they sang throughout the area at different Festivals and events. And in 1955, when the Mission Bridge collapsed Freda wrote a song about it. She also wrote a song about another tragedy of five loggers who had been killed in the area. Hilda and Freda would go on to cut a record of the two events entitled “Missions Headache” and the flip side was “The Fate Of The Five Loggers”. They sang these songs throughout the area and on the radio.

Hilda and Freda also frequented Blaine Washington which at the time was a “hubbub” for country singers. It was here that they sang backup for Loretta Lynn who had encouraged them to make their way to Nashville. After much deliberation though they decided against the move. By this time Hilda had two small daughters which might have been a factor in the decision.

Hilda also liked to sing with her siblings. Her mother Maria, being very musical, had taught her children to sing harmony. Hilda spent many enjoyable hours over the years singing gospel and country songs with her sisters Freda and Susie. Her younger brother who had a wonderful “base” singing voice and also played the guitar would occasionally join them (in the earlier years).

In later years Hilda would acquire a reel to reel recording machine. She would record many of the songs she sang with her sisters. She then acquired a second machine and through her own “ingenuity” she managed to “rig’ them so she could make a recording of her songs and sing her own harmony. So many of her recorded songs sound like she is singing with someone else but in fact she is the sole singer.

The family is very fortunate to have accessed her efforts and put together a tribute CD, with Hilda singing with her sisters, and also her solo songs. In addition there are numerous other recordings and a record of her singing time with Freda Alstad.

When Hilda wasn’t singing she kept busy with her other interests. She never sat idly. She read, did crosswords, crocheted doilies, bedspreads, afghans, sweaters, hats, slippers and you name it,... made macramé plant hangers, gardened....well anything creative.

For many years Hilda was fascinated by the ghost towns of the gold rush era. She bought herself books about the different towns, a gold pan, and together with Bill they traveled with their camper throughout B.C. to investigate the towns, do some gold panning and get some fishing in to boot. Some of these trips became a family affair with kids and grandkids all enjoying the experience. Many good times were had by all.

While you would think that this was enough to keep one busy for “a lifetime”, Hilda also worked at many different jobs in Abbotsford. She worked at the MSA hospital, at Famous Shoes, and was a cashier at the Robinsons store, Super Value and Co-op grocery stores. She knew a great many people around the Abbotsford area because of her long working history there.

In retirement years the garden got a lot of Hilda’s attention. Bill built a greenhouse so they could pamper their tomato plants and when winter came they were always well stocked with tomato preservers. Their backyard was an attractive mix of vegetables and ornamentals, and she shared the fruits of her labours with family and friends.

For the last ten years of her life Hilda was plagued with a number of health problems. High blood pressure and heart problems started to dominate her life more and more. Being very much into “natural” methods she chose to go to a Naturopathic Physician to try and alleviate most of her problems. (This SHE paid for herself). When her husband Bill become sick life became very difficult and when he passed away in 2004 she was devastated.

On November 5, 2005, Hilda had a stroke. Her three week stay in the Hospital was to be the beginning of the Institutional “abuse” that would eventually take her life. But in spite of the hospital abuse, their drug abuse policies, and early prognosis that the damage was permanent, Hilda’s family managed to get her into a stroke rehabilitation program. In Rehabilitation, the doctor continued with some of the same anti-psychotic drugs the hospital had used (without family knowledge or consent) and it was only after he determined that she wasn't improving that he discontinued them. Hilda started improving .... very rapidly.... but she had some left side paralysis and would never be able to play guitar again ( bottom right).

In spite of some left side paralysis and some memory impairment, Hilda recovered enough that she could live with some independence first in an “independent “ living complex (Hallmark on the Lake, below ) and then in an assisted living complex. But a “sketchy” memory did have Hilda very concerned as she had always been so mentally active. One of her favorite quotes was “use it or lose it!” and she was very afraid and dismayed about "losing it". She’d always done all the banking, bill paying, taxes etc. and she was very concerned and anxious that she would forget to do something that she was “supposed” to be doing.

Hilda had also had a “bleeding” problem which started around the year 2000, in which she would get nose bleeds that would not stop and she would end up in the Abbotsford Hospital emergency room, where they "packed" her nose so all she could do was breathe through her mouth . This was extremely stressful for her...but in spite of this history of bleeding the doctor insisted on putting her on a blood thinner after her stroke .

This just made the “nosebleed” problem worse. While living in the Assisted Living complex she was sent to the hospital on many occasions with these nose bleeds that would not stop, sometimes the family wouldn’t even get her out the emergency door before they would start up again. On one of these occasions she had to have a blood transfusion... and when the family was gone the hospital drugged her up with the same drugs she had had problems with when she had her stroke (hospital standard protocol?). She would spend the next several days in a delusional state from these drugs.

The “Assisted” living complex Hilda was living in, not only did not have any patience when dealing with her anxious nature, they were very upset with the nosebleed problem as at times she had lost a significant amount of blood in her apartment before they could get her to the hospital. This had upset some of the young “inexperienced’ staff at the complex. The “nurse” at the complex did not want Hilda to come back from the hospital until they had “resolved” the bleeding thing. The hospital couldn’t seem to do this (never taking into consideration the blood thinner she was on) and so.....the game was on...to get her put into a nursing home. It is suspected that the “bleeding” problem has a great deal to do with forcing Hilda out of “Assisted” living even though this was never “officially” stated. They just said she was too needy and started nit-picking everything she did in order to make a good case to remove her.

The family would fight this decision for the longest time as it was felt she was not ready to be in a nursing home, and did not need that kind of “care” around the clock. Hilda was still able to make her own breakfast (which she didn’t get in assisted living), shower herself, make her own bed and clean her apartment (which was always tidy). She would go for walks outside to her sisters (a few blocks away) or just around the building. She NEVER got lost!

In the end The Assisted Living complex “Tabor Court” would get their own way. Hilda would never be free again to go for a walk outside on her own or have her own "space" to do as she liked. Hilda was absolutely beside herself at being put into a nursing home and the rest of her story is in another part of this site. The move was the beginning of the end of Hilda's life.

Hilda deserved better than this.

Hilda's 80th Birthday gathering